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December 28th, 2007
12:20 am - Artists
I've been having a terrible anxiety episode the past couple weeks. It started peaking the day before Christmas eve. The day before christmas eve, and on christmas eve itself, I couldn't sleep a wink hardly. So much stuff just mounted and I guess it was just critical mass.
I've got a doctor appointment on Monday. I'm finally going to start taking something. I hate medication, and it's side effects, and I can deal with the day to day anxiety stuff. But when I go through these episodes that last two or three weeks, I just can't hardly cope. The only way I'm coping now, is by drinking quite a bit every night to be able to get to sleep. It's pretty sad. Drinking way more than usual heh. When they put me on something. I'll be able to stop.
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November 30th, 2007
12:49 am - I just don't get it.
I really don't. Though, I bet we all have things that we just can't wrap our heads around no matter how many times we run them over in our brain.
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May 17th, 2007
03:02 am - Yeah
Why am I treating this like a weekend? I have to work in six hours.
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April 7th, 2007
11:28 pm
This is why I'm hot, I don't have to rap. I could sell a mil saying nothing on the track.
Do you ever just scare yourself, with the things that creep into your brain at your most dire moments?
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March 30th, 2007
01:10 am - Doc
So they sent me down to the psychiatrist to see if I'm mentally fit to join the army.
So I walk in sit down, and I say "Doc, I wanna kill."
"I wanna kill."
"I wanna eat dead burnt bodies. Have their guts between my teeth doc. I wanna kill. Kill! KILL! KILL! KILL!"
and all of a sudden we was all jumpin up and down around the room yellin' "KILL! KILL! KILL!" and they took me aside pinned a medal on me and said "you're our boy."
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January 10th, 2007
03:07 am - save it for later
Maybe I can just take it and pack it up and save it for a rainy day, eh?
Nah.
It's just not that easy unfortunately.
oof, it's psychic. PSYCHIC!
No, I'm really fine, really.
Despite all the stuff I've been doing.
Can't wait for school to start.
Rock on.
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January 4th, 2007
11:59 pm - Send it down, fast
ohhhh man. People don't stop talking to me. My myspace blog is no longer personal, because even when I make entries marked personal, people I barely know start asking to be on my personal entries list.
If you aren't on the personal entries list, and you know me, feel free to ask to be on it. I have only added people who asked to be on it, so don't be offended if you aren't.
But anyway, until I'm no longer famous. I'll just be putting the more personal entries down here I imagine. I knew there was a good use for this thing.
Haji, ju, haji?
I've been thinking a lot about destiny lately.
I feel like things generally work out. It's the waiting thats hard.
Whether or not you believe in any kind of higher power or anything. I guess it's foolish to say, but I think that if you think about something every day, for so long, that there is a reason you think that way. Like why would life let me do that to myself, if things weren't eventually going to work out?
Every morning, day after day. I see the future, and its so beautiful y'know. I feel like one day, I'm going to be living it, instead of just thinking about it. I want it so badly, an outpouring of all the major emotions follows with it.
Thats life.
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December 22nd, 2006
12:16 pm - Rock stars
Hey livejournal land.
My band opened for national recording artists Dropping Daylight on Wednesday on less than 24 hours notice, at the Varsity Theatre.
It was cool.
A lot of the crowd, which was 400-500 people, loved us.
An equal number of people were totally wierded out by us, squares.
We sold CDs, made a lot of new fans, and we drank a ton of free beer, courtesy of Clear Channel Entertainment. Also, people came up to me after the show to take their picture with me. It was hillariously awesome.
I want to do it again.
So I'm going to continue to wear this purple wristband as a reminder, that one day, I can have more free Clear Channel beer.
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November 23rd, 2006
04:15 am - livejournal
Man.
Do people still use livejournal? I feel kind of bad for it, in the kind of way one can feel bad for something like livejournal. Done in by the addictive mess of terrible programming and worse people that is myspace.
True, I am one of those terrible myspace people.
Maybe I can use this to once again voice my vague longings and musings, since no one really uses livejournal anymore.
I could look out longingly into the night and type... "I love you."
Yeah.
I could do that.
But that would be silly, right?
See ya in another 5 months, livejournal.
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June 9th, 2006
07:03 pm - Oh no, what am I going to do
I'm trying to figure out what to wear for a second date.
But I've never been on a second date before.
Guess I just wing it eh?
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May 10th, 2006
02:08 pm - Love is all
I wonder sometimes if people sometimes wonder why I no longer update my livejournal.
Its not that I have anything against livejournal, I just don't think about it very often.
Things are pretty good for me right now. I'm about to conclude this semester of school, and saturday was one of the best nights of my life, in fact the whole weekend was great.
I'll lay it out.
Friday 4pm, depart Twin Cities for show in Rockford Illinois
Listen to a shitload of heavy metal with kyle on the way there. Highlights include a full listening of Manowar's Louder than Hell, the entirety of Megadeth's "Killing is My Business... and Business is Good", and Dio's "Killing the Dragon" I was also introduced by kyle to a little band called Rhapsody, which was hillariously excellent.
9:20 pm Got to the venue in Rockford. One of the guys in the other band was a Dio fan, his brother even saw him on the legendary Sacred Heart tour in 1985. Y'know the famous award winning tour where Dio had a giant mechanical dragon and a glowing sword? I drank a bunch of Corona and Cuervo, because y'know it was Cinco De Mayo. I ordered "Show Me the Way" by Frampton on the electronic jukebox and I was really disappointed when it didn't come on before we played.
Played the set. It was awesome.
Immediately after we finished, Show Me the Way by Frampton finally came on the juke box. I went fuckin' nuts. Drank more Corona and Cuervo. Hung out with my pals in SMB during second band. SMB played, it was sweet, I got in the room just in time to hear Stalemate. Owen ran afoul of the guitar player from The Moment's girlfriend, hostilities ensued, but were smoothed out. All was well.
This paragraph brings me to a fairly recent phenomenon that has been occuring at shows lately. See I always used to complain that I never got any chicks because of the band. This has turned around, there were two, count em, two at this show that were diggin' me. One of them was going to come and hang out with us at Phil's house after the show, but disappeared while I was loading, only to track me down two days later on myspace and tell me she wanted us to come back as soon as possible. Rock n roll baby. Anyway, this chick and I danced in a big way during The Moment's set, which was phenomenal.
The low point of the weekend occured, when we went to the 24 Hour tacoria after the show. We were there with SMB and Phil from The Moment and Phil from the Moment's friend, who was going to be our guide to rockford and show us how to get to phil's house where we would stay. Phil had appointed his buddy to be our guide. Well the Tacoria took a really long time, and Phil's buddy was getting antsy and kind of complaining. My good buddy Cass, decided to step in and make fun of the guys hair loss problem. Which sort of led to some akwardness, considering y'know, he was the friend of the guy whos house we were staying at. But John Wheeler of all people diffused the situation and we were on our way to Phil's.
Phils house was cool. We bonded together. In the morning we were awakened by an answering machine message from someone claiming to be the Rockford Police saying that someone had stolen a bottle of "worchester-shire-shire sauce" from the venue the previous night. We all had a good laugh. You kinda had to be there.
Departed Rockford about noon, figuring that it would take about 4.5 hours to get to St. Peter. Kyle and I ate Arby's. Kyle was driving so I could study for a final. Big mistake. I had reminded kyle several times to fill up on gas. He kept going. I looked up from my book to read that the Jeep was reading "12 Miles to Empty". We passed a roadsign indicating the nearest town was 13 miles away. We dropped speed to conserve efficiency and crossed our fingers and sweated profusely. We limped into Dexter Minnesota with the jeep reading "0 Miles to Empty"
We filled up, and realized there was no way we were going to make it to St. Peter in the previously predicted 4.5 hours. It was actually going to end up being more like 6.5 hours. So we rolled into Gustavus Adolphus college at about 6:30. Thinking we were grotesquely late. But the staff were very cheery and helped load our gear. We recorded an interview for the Gustavus college radio and television program. We got a very pro soundcheck, in a very pro room, with a very pro soundguy. Our backstage area was catered with leath couches. The staff was going to take us out to dinner if we didn't show up over an hour late. No matter though, they gave us free pizza. As the room got populated we prepared. Finally we took the stage and delivered what might have been the best show we have ever put on. The crowd was jazzed and 100% behind us, dancing and cheering and reacting. It was brilliant... just fucking brilliant. I wish that could be every damn night.
The Plastic Constellations played too, never seen/heard them before. They made a fan out of me, stand up guys too. Hopefully we'll meet again. Speaking of meeting, I met a cool girl who gave me a place to stay and whom I am attempting to see again. The phenomenon continues.
After the show we unloaded, and the whole staff took me out to a towny bar called patricks. I tried to buy some drinks for them and myself, but they wouldn't let me. I got drunk as hell, and so I wasn't gonna go home any time soon. Went to a house party, met back up with kyle, drank more. Went to the dorms, slept.
Went home, spent sunday studying.
The end.
Everybody's got to live to gether,
All the people got to understand,
So love your neighbor like you love your brother,
Come on and join the band!
Well all you need is love and understanding,
So ring the bell and let the people know,
We're all so happy and we're celebrating,
Come on and let your feelings show!
Love is all, yeah love is all!
Love is all can't you hear the call?
Love is all you need, love is all you need,
At the Butterfly Ball! - Dio & Roger Glover, 1975
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April 7th, 2006
11:18 am - Ozymandias
"I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read,
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed,
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away."
-Percy Bysshe Shelley
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February 17th, 2006
10:27 am - Blast from the past
I can name nine people in this picture. Even some whos heads aren't visible.
How many can you name?
http://www.geocities.com/two_thirds_nephilim/photoband7.html
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February 11th, 2006
01:31 am - Upside down
I have so much going on, but I feel so empty.
I would turn the world upside down for you, seriously.
That would be so catastrophic.
Current Music: Neil Young - Heart of Gold
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January 31st, 2006
02:59 pm - 2012 Boogie (2005) verse 1
I'm working on a new song, I've been faking my way through the words at the two shows we've played it at.
Its interesting and challenging because I'm pretty sure its more words than I've ever tried to put in a song before. Its also the first "cautionary tale" we've really written. It may not be quite so serious in the verses I haven't written yet though.
Everything is as bad as it seems
when I go to bed at night I dream of mesoamerican dreams
and I know that we're all doomed
we've got about a half a decade left to burn and consume
It makes, me feel
you know I get uptight because it makes no sense to me
why they can't see
the things I see, I know that nothing is free
and its over now, a facts a fact
we've gotten in to deep and there ain't gonna be no turning
back to the track from whence we came
It was a voice from the past
you know I heard it sang:
Can we survive the next seven years?
Can we survive the next seven years?
Can we survive the next seven years?
Can we survive the next seven years?
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January 30th, 2006
04:29 pm - Unlimited power
So I was sort of in a way "on tour" this weekend.
And it seems like the weekend lasted forever, in a good way.
I want to be "on tour" more often, and not just the sort of three day "tour" that necessitates putting quotation marks around the words "on tour." I mean for real.
Although, I learned a few things the hard way this weekend that I'm gonna have to work on. One is being more economical while on the road, and another is that I need to figure out better ways to take care of my voice playing shows on consecutive days.
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January 20th, 2006
06:19 pm - New
So now I have three online journals
This one, for more personal stuff, when I need to get things off my chest.
Myspace blog for my random musings.
and now I have a blogspot blog, to tell about the life and times of The Men Who Control the Weather.
The first entry is up now, and it is more than you ever wanted to know about why this band exists.
http://jbbt.blogspot.com
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January 8th, 2006
02:55 am - You blew my heart into smithereens, and that took genius
You and barber make a handsome pair
Guess what I never liked the way he cut your hair
I never liked the way he turned your head,
but theres nothing I can do or say, that I haven't done or said
Everybody needs a place to stand,
and a method for their schemes and scams
If I could only get my record clean,
I'd be a genius.
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December 9th, 2005
09:55 am - Man
I don't really do much with the ole livejournal these days.
I guess since my life is going well, I don't really have anything to complain about. Well I guess my love life still hasn't really taken off yet. But hey, whats new eh? I'm still working on my calypsos however I've been trying to get more creative and as such, theres been a decline in production.
I guess I can just post cool Dio lyrics.
"Inside the walls I've made to keep out all who reach for me,
I might have lost my way, and I can't come out again
Don't come around here anymore, you may infect yourself
Don't ever cross this line, you could see monsters in your mind!
They're just like me!
Have I erased all sense of touch? I don't feel anything,
Sometimes they say I need
Sometimes I think I need
Sometimes I know I need,
NEW PARTS FOR MY BRAIN!"
Man that guy rules.
Current Music: Dio - Institutional Man
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December 1st, 2005
03:58 pm - Molly Nee is doing it so why can't we?
5 YEARS AGO...
How old were you? 16
What grade were you in? 11th
Where did you go to school? School of Environmental Studies
Where did you work? Nowhere, I was a bum.
Where did you live? Eagan, MN
Where did you hang out? At home, I guess if we're going 5 years to the day, I didn't really do much hanging out yet, it was right when I started to make friends.
How was your hair style? It was probably just short messy hair, I believe it would have been before the advent of my pseudo-fro/mullet
Did you wear braces? Yes
Did you wear glasses? Yes
Who was your best friend? Eric Rudd and Bob Fox ha.
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend? Didn't have one.
Who was your celebrity crush? I dont really remember.
Who was your regular-person crush? My sisters friend.
How many piercings did you have? None
How many tattoos did you have? None
What was your favorite band? Bad Religion
What was your biggest fear? That my new friends would ditch me once Triple Threat was over.
Had you smoked a cigarette yet? Yeah
Had you gotten drunk or high yet? High yes, drunk no.
Had you driven yet? With a permit, its nothin' for me to say I only had a permit.
Did you know the person who posted this right before you? Nope, I don't think I even knew Cass at that point.
PRESENT DAY...
How old are you? 21
What grade are you in? College freshman I guess.
Where do you go to school? Inver Hills Community College
Where do you work? Taylor and Associates/Truckers Justice Center
Where do you live? Chugalug House, South St. Paul, MN
Where do you hang out now? Chugalug House, people come there, I don't have to go to people.
How is your hair style now? I've come full circle, back to messy short hair.
Do you wear braces? No
Do you wear glasses? Yes
Who is your best friend? Four way tie between Tontie, Mike, Cass and Kathleen
Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend? No one.
Who is your celebrity crush? I'm really into Charlize Theron these days, but isn't everyone?
Who is your regular-person crush? I don't really have a single person I'm focusing on right now.
How many piercings do you have? None.
How many tattoos do you have? None.
What is your favorite band? Ronnie James Dio, Blind Guardian and Bad Religion
What is your biggest fear? Mad cow disease, the band breaking up, [emo]being eternally alone[/emo]
Have you smoked a cigarette yet? Yes
Have you gotten drunk or high yet? Yes
Have you driven yet? Yes
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